I LOVE these lists.....

So because I'm bored out of my skull at work, and working on only a few very short hours of sleep (thank you tornadoes and hall staff), I went perusing AOL for interesting tidbits to keep my mind awake. I stumbled on this list of things that were just BEGGING to be commented on. Apparently it's a list of things to do while you're single, before you settle down.

1.) Travel alone
"Whether you're trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can't get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure -- even when you become part of a twosome."

Been there, done that. If you've read any of my other blogs, I'm a world famous solo traveller. I load up and go everywhere by me onesie because, let's face it, I do things that no other 20 year old likes to do. I like travelling and staying in hostels. I love being able to make command decisions and get off the road anywhere I like (that's how I visited Fredericksburg in October...I just got off the highway and did it). This is one a firmly believe in. Travelling by yourself is a must.


2.) Wallow in the ache of a broken heart
"Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry's in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It's the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you'll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you're sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you're less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that'll serve you well as you travel through your dating days."

I don't need karma to tell me that. I sit in front of cable tv with a pint of Ben and Jerry's because karma has made me empathetic to EVERYONE ELSE'S ISSUES and I dont' have time for my own. I've been embarassed and hurt before and it doesn't help. It makes me harder, colder and bitchier. I've wallowed, I've gotten over it and I've built the defenses so that it will not happen again. I disagree with this. I don't want to wallow in a broken heart. It sucks!






3.) Spend a weekend with a married couple your age
"On lonely nights, it's common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a J. Crew catalog. But spend 48 hours with a real couple and you'll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won't over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again."

If I ever pick up a J. Crew catalogue, I hope someone shoots me. On the otherhand, if I ever think that marriage at the age of 22 is 'cozy' I hope someone uses me for nuclear missile targeting practice. Remember my third wheel rant? Dude, why would you put yourself in the position to be the third wheel? WILLINGLY????



Pet names make me gag, snuggling drives me bananas and the bickering, growling and silent treatments are like a soap opera for me. I feed off those moments because that's when I get to say "ha, I was right!" Ultimate compromise? Not so much. Everyone knows that they both think they're right and they're hoarding this moment to use as ammunition in the next argument. Oh, and let's just say that they actually do make up in the 48 hours you're with said married couple. That means you're going to be privy to the make up sex. Ugh! Too much information. I think I'll take a solo vacation before I go spend a weekend with a married couple.

4.)Don't come home all night
"That's right, wild thing. Crash on a friend's couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip ... Once you have a mate, you can't just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won't want to. So if you don't have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!"

I have crashed on people's couches before. Usually it involves a night of hard drinking and my inability to get home. Or my DD blows and left me at a party and I have no way of getting myself home because I am too inebriated to walk and the Richmond po-po will come arrest my ass. Either way I've been there, done that. I've also gone on vacation and claimed couches of friends. I think I have a permanent couch card in my wallet and whatever state I go to, I have a couch to stay on. Family, friends, sponsor brothers, college friends...man, I've got cheap lodgings everywhere.....

5.) Stand up for a cause you care about
"Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue when you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty darn important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you'll be cultivating is very attractive."

Big heartedness? Good word usage, but I'm passionate about things that only seem to be turnoffs. Rugby, Historic Property conservation, the great outdoors, good beer. yep, pretty nerdy stuff right there. I'm also all for inclusion and used to help with special olympics and love quad-rugby. But I've never met prince charming at any of these things. Quite the opposite. If i get the "what did you do this last weekend" and tell them I went on a trails day or a rugby match they're like "whoa, that's weird. You're a nerd!" Maybe it's because I pour too much passion into those arenas and I don't have any room (or energy) to devote to being passionate about anythign else.

6.)Have a real adventure
"Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a high by doing something just for you, just for the experience -- without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you'll have telling your next date about your daring experience."

Daring experience? Hmm...I've been white water rafting...I like that...and ocean kayaking and tall-shipping. I loved my tall ship experience.
Oh, and canoeing. So I like water. I'm a piesces, it's allowed. But I get that "you did what?" look a lot and people think I'm weird. Or older than I am. They can't believe I did most of that stuff before I came to college. I've done some of it while in college. Most people my age (at least in this neck of the woods) seem to think an adventure/ daring experience is downing a whole bottle of Jack by themselves or doing a 30 second keg stand. Sorry, this adrenaline junky needs more than alcohol induced vomiting to consider an experience worthwhile and memorable.

7.) Learn how to take care of yourself
"Being solo shouldn't keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it's mac and cheese with your own three-cheese spin.) While you're at it, learn how to back up your computer hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You'll feel strong and self-sufficient -- and you'll be well armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship."

I think I got the short end of the stick on this one. I think my parents did the whole "throw her in and watch her swim on her own." They're lucky I'm a floater and am pretty good at doing things on my own. I can sew buttons and seams and patches. I learned to do it by hand because my mom's sewing machine is possessed by satan. I learned to cook by me for me over the past two summers. I'm not sure It's very creative; chef Ramsay would probably call me a twit. But you know, for a person with an uncreative palate I think it's pretty good. The computer still confuses the hell out of me, but I'll get there eventually.

8.)Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it
"Once you're in a relationship, you'll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items -- not just "Will he or she hate it?" but "Is this where I want to be putting my money if we're saving for a wedding?" The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it's an expensive vintage movie poster or a macked-out mountain bike."

Well, I got the mountain bike before I came to college. I think my biggest guilt purchases involve Chuck Taylor's.



Weird for a tom boy to be addicted to shoes, but I love my chucks. I think the other guilt purchases involve trips. back to that number one of travelling alone. I'm also trying to save a lot of money knowing that my job is going to be hit or miss across the next few years because I want to work seasonally. That and student loans are going to kick my ass....


9.) Develop a hobby
"Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you're dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you -- and makes you more interesting to others."

I have hobbies. I learned counted cross stich. I tried to crochet. I play rugby. Damn that one keeps popping up. And then there's blogging. Oh yeah, and photography. I love my photography.....:-D

10.) Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months

"Hop-scotching from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you're never more ripe for self-reflection than when you're on your own -- and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who's right for the real you."

Are you fucking kidding me? I've been single for 22 years and 11 months. I think I'm over due for a relationship. I've self reflected until I'm blue in the face. The real me? I've re-evaluated myself so many times and been psycho-babbled by involved friends that "Mr. Right" is an impossibility. How many times have I heard "you'll always be alone"? They're helpful. Ugh. This is definately one I don't agree with.

I realized the other night that I've been here for five years and never once was I asked to President's ball. I'll never get dolled up and have someone be completely wowed. I even brought my dresses back in the hopes I might have occasion to wear them. No such luck. It'll be another year of boycotting the ball, and VD (see February blogs of the past for my opinions on that) and getting liquored up. Woo hoo richmond bars! Maybe not so much. Some day my prince will come.

See, I really do have a teensy tiny romantic bone in my body. Bite me bitches.

Maybe not so much. One of the guys found out I'm a sex camel (I might get it once a year and I don't get it again for another 16 months) and now has a mission to hook me up with someone at a rugby tournament. To say I'm terrified is an understatement. I might have to wear camoglauge and disappear into the darkness at Nash Bash.

"Amy Spencer writes about relationships and other topics for Glamour, Maxim, Real Simple and Cosmopolitan magazines. She personally swears by all of the above -- though she admits to being a little too chummy with No. 8 on the list."

This list is courtesy of the above mentioned Amy Spencer and found at http://personals.aol.com/black-dating/_a/10-things-all-singles-must-do/20070711134409990001