I must be having a good day

So this past weekend I was stuck inside and was not having a good weekend. Basically this stemmed from the fact that I was indoors taking my comprehensive exam. Bleh. Being so cooped up and forced to stare at that menacing little flashing line in word for HOURS was mind killing.

So today while I was running around getting things prepared for this summer camp Job Fair, I came up with a list of things that made me happy. Perhaps it's because I'm stuck doing things I really don't want to to. Kind of like Bilbo in the Hobbit....

Brand New unopened jars of peanut butter---Have you ever noticed how wonderful a brand new jar of peanut butter is? How it's so smooth across the top and still sealed tight. There are no mystery chunks in a new jar of peanut butter, no knife tracks. You are boldly going where no human has gone before, and it's all yours. If I could figure out how to eat out of a brand new jar of peaunut butter for the rest of my life I would. Damn if it isn't just too expensive and wasteful.

Fresh Baked bread--- THe smell of it...the feeling of warm squishy, fresh baked bread...the taste of it. Fresh baked bread practically melts on your tongue. It's homey and relaxing and if I were a more patient person, I'd bake bread all the time.

Chocolate--- Need I say more? CHocolate is a sure sign that there is a higher being and that they want us to be happy. Chocolate in any form is spectacular....and think about it, is there anything sexier than melty-chocolate eyes on a man? Eyes that you could just fall into? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Chocolate and peanut butter mixed together--- Come on, I could eat reeses cups, reeses cereal, reeses pie, reeses pieces and m&M's together all day every day for the rest of my life. When I die I hope I die fat and happy on the peanut butter and chocolate diet.

Buffalo--- Buffalo jerkey, buffallo steaks, buffalo burgers, buffalo sausage...I love it all. It's tasty and lean and it's red meat.

Being full--as if the previously mentioned items weren't enough to clue you in, I like to eat. I like being content and full. I've been trying to lose weight, but I always feel miserable. Then I go on some Peanut butter/chocolate bender and feel better for a while. Then I feel bad because I packed on the pounds like the tubby I was born to be.

Feeling pretty--- I think all girls like to feel pretty. It comes from watching all those damn disney movies and seeing the way Prince Charming always looks at the Princess. After DIsney movies, we migrated to chick flicks, and the leading man always looks at the leading lady that same way. A look that's somewhere between "wow, I can be struck blind right now and die a happy man." and "God Damn I get to go out with THAT tonight. Hot dog!" There might even be a little visual undressing involved in those looks and the sense that no matter how much time you spent getting dolled up, your man only wants you in your birthday suit, under the covers, ten minutes ago. Feeling pretty is an ego boost. FOr someone like me, who is entirely too tom boyish, careless, and doesn’t know how to dress themselves, feeling pretty is a rare feat. I think that’s why I like Ren-faires. I might look silly, but I feel gorgeous. At faires I feel like a princess even if I’m dressed like a wench. I feel like I rule the world the way woman has always been meant to rule the world. People ask to take my picture at the faire a lot….that’s an ego boost too, even if I’m in the middle of gnawing on a greasy turkey leg. Feeling pretty, makes me happy. Going through all the work to get pretty does not make me feel happy.

Pirates—There’s just something about piracy that makes me happy. Not modern day piracy, but Golden Age piracy. There’s something about the whole time period that makes my heart flutter a bit. I suppose that’s why I like renaissance festivals so much. I like the mystery behind a pirate. The danger, the sex appeal. There’s something about the dark eyes of a pirate that I’ve been attracted to since I was too little to know that women were supposed to be attracted to that type of guy. There’s a line in Tombstone that’s used to describe Wyatt Earp.
“My dear, you've set your gaze upon the quintessential frontier type. Note the lean silhouette... eyes closed by the sun, though sharp as a hawk. He's got the look of both predator and prey.”
It might have been used to describe a frontier lawman, but it could also apply to a pirate. Pirates can make me go weak in the knees…as long as they’re the Captain Jack Sparrow/Calico Jack Rackham/Errol FLyn type pirate….not the Blackbeard/Blackbart/ fat, greasy, toothless pirate.

Sorry, I’m picky.

Charleston---Charleston, South Carolina is one of my all time favorite cities. The layering of history is magical. It’s almost as if you could walk into a different time period if you didn’t watch yourself. The sun, the flowers, the cobblestone streets and the old architecture are all amazing. I can see pictures of St. Phillip’s church, or St. Micheals or Tradd Street and I just grin. Talking about Charleston makes me smile. There’s something about that city that warms a part of my heart that doesn’t get used often.



Skiing--- The feeling at the end of a day of skiing is amazing. It’s like you’re torn in half. Part of you wants to keep going and never stop. You don’t want to admit your day is over. The other half (mostly your legs) want to go fall in a corner (preferably one with a hot tub) and die. Sitting on the chair lift in the silence and watching the wind sift through the pine trees, or watching someone else take a perfect line down an impossible slope is so relaxing.




The adrenaline rush you get as your ski tips hang over a ledge while you try to talk yourself into taking the dive….The thrill and the ease of a day on a mountain are at such odds and yet so perfect. Of course, there’s not much more in the world worth anything than a beer at the end of a hard day of skiing.

Boating--- Not really just boating, but sailing. This kind of goes back to the whole Pirate thing. I love tall ships. I got to sail on one when I was in high school. If I could have stayed and stowed away, I would have. I’ve never cried when I left a trip, but I did after three days aboard the Pilgrim of Newport. The smell of salt on the air and the feel of it on your skin was just perfect. You felt gritty and clean all at the same time. I had the best tan ever (after the burn faded) but it didn’t hurt. Laying in the net off the bowsprit was like getting rocked to sleep—or like flying. Climbing the rigging was exhilarating.

Getting to haul the sails up and knowing that when you were done and sailing that you were under way because of a hard days work. Then at night you could lay on the deck and stare at the stars in the darkest night sky you’ve ever seen. The stars are so bright at sea. Besides, what’s better than being 15 and driving a 210 foot ship around an island?

Sleep---Sleep makes me happy. I like sleeping, I really do. I don’t like the guilty feeling I get when I sleep through something. But I like being in bed and under my covers and comfy and warm. I like the feeling that the world is passing by and I’m safe and warm and comfortable. I like the sense of security that comes from being in bed. I guess it goes back to the feeling of being safe, warm and comfortable in the womb. I think I heard that in my psych class once…..

Cannon—Oh come on….the way your heart pounds in unison with a cannon being fired is epic. I love that feeling. I loved firing it. I loved being close to the gun. I liked the power of it. I’m sure there’s something sexual that could be said for this, but I don’t care. Even the sight of a static display gives me shivers, just knowing the destruction that a cannon could inflict is awesome. And on some sick and twisted level of my crazy little brain, I get a thrill out of it.

Rugby---Rugby, on the rare occasions when it’s drama free, makes me happy. I like being able to make a good, solid tackle, a nice pass, a good play. I like being with my friends on the weekend and I like feeling like I’ve done something good or useful. I like feeling muddy and dirty and a little sore the day after a rough practice or game. I like feeling strong. I like the community of rugby. Even though I might bitch about it sometimes, it still makes me happy, which is why, in spite of all the drama, I will continue to play.

Good beer—Good beer, not cheap yellow shit that all college students drink. I like something with a little body and color to it. I like my beers in the red and amber range, although I’ve been known to like my Guinness every now and then. A good beer makes the world right. I don’t drink good beer to lord it over others, but I like drinking new and different things and yet still being able to hold my own long into the night. Drinking liquor is like burning the candle at both ends. It ensures a short night and a long and painful hangover the next day. I can pack away a lot of beer, hold my own and not have a hangover the next day. Good beer, though it puts a big fucking dent in my check book makes me happy. It’s like pampering myself without the stress of the mall and people in my personal bubble.

Dogs—Dogs make me happy because there’s an element of unconditional love involved with a dog. They will always wag their tails when you come through the door, they will always be excited to see you and they will always sit with you and be there for you when you’re lonely. They can also help keep your feet warm on lonely nights or help anchor your side of the blanket when your bedmate decides to do the burrito roll. Dogs are playful and even when they’re mellow, they are a comforting presence.

Theater--I like going to the theater. I like getting away from reality. THere's something powerful about sitting in a dark room watching a play. I like musicals. THe music, even after you've left the theater, can touch something inside you and remind you of where you were and what you've seen. I like that.

Music-- the same thing as theater. Music has a power too. music can make us happy, sad, inspire us, commiserate with us. It can do a lot to change or heighten our moods. WHy do you think people talk about putting on mood music? And why are people so interested in what our favorite athletes have on their ipods? It's becuase music can move you.

See, I can be a happy person. It really doesn’t take much. But it doesn’t take much to bring me crashing back down to earth either. I’m sensitive to some things. Unfortunately I feel what others should feel. I feel shame acutely for some reason. It doesn’t take a lot for me to feel bad about myself or feel guilty for something I did. I embarrass super easy.

Oh well. I guess I just have to continue to think like Bilbo and keep the happy things on my mind no matter how bad the situation gets.

And maybe some day I’ll be living in Charleston with my dog and living on brand new jars of peanut butter aboard my pirate ship.

Maybe I need to stop smoking the stuff under the sink…..

I LOVE these lists.....

So because I'm bored out of my skull at work, and working on only a few very short hours of sleep (thank you tornadoes and hall staff), I went perusing AOL for interesting tidbits to keep my mind awake. I stumbled on this list of things that were just BEGGING to be commented on. Apparently it's a list of things to do while you're single, before you settle down.

1.) Travel alone
"Whether you're trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can't get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure -- even when you become part of a twosome."

Been there, done that. If you've read any of my other blogs, I'm a world famous solo traveller. I load up and go everywhere by me onesie because, let's face it, I do things that no other 20 year old likes to do. I like travelling and staying in hostels. I love being able to make command decisions and get off the road anywhere I like (that's how I visited Fredericksburg in October...I just got off the highway and did it). This is one a firmly believe in. Travelling by yourself is a must.


2.) Wallow in the ache of a broken heart
"Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry's in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It's the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you'll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you're sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you're less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that'll serve you well as you travel through your dating days."

I don't need karma to tell me that. I sit in front of cable tv with a pint of Ben and Jerry's because karma has made me empathetic to EVERYONE ELSE'S ISSUES and I dont' have time for my own. I've been embarassed and hurt before and it doesn't help. It makes me harder, colder and bitchier. I've wallowed, I've gotten over it and I've built the defenses so that it will not happen again. I disagree with this. I don't want to wallow in a broken heart. It sucks!






3.) Spend a weekend with a married couple your age
"On lonely nights, it's common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a J. Crew catalog. But spend 48 hours with a real couple and you'll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won't over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again."

If I ever pick up a J. Crew catalogue, I hope someone shoots me. On the otherhand, if I ever think that marriage at the age of 22 is 'cozy' I hope someone uses me for nuclear missile targeting practice. Remember my third wheel rant? Dude, why would you put yourself in the position to be the third wheel? WILLINGLY????



Pet names make me gag, snuggling drives me bananas and the bickering, growling and silent treatments are like a soap opera for me. I feed off those moments because that's when I get to say "ha, I was right!" Ultimate compromise? Not so much. Everyone knows that they both think they're right and they're hoarding this moment to use as ammunition in the next argument. Oh, and let's just say that they actually do make up in the 48 hours you're with said married couple. That means you're going to be privy to the make up sex. Ugh! Too much information. I think I'll take a solo vacation before I go spend a weekend with a married couple.

4.)Don't come home all night
"That's right, wild thing. Crash on a friend's couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip ... Once you have a mate, you can't just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won't want to. So if you don't have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!"

I have crashed on people's couches before. Usually it involves a night of hard drinking and my inability to get home. Or my DD blows and left me at a party and I have no way of getting myself home because I am too inebriated to walk and the Richmond po-po will come arrest my ass. Either way I've been there, done that. I've also gone on vacation and claimed couches of friends. I think I have a permanent couch card in my wallet and whatever state I go to, I have a couch to stay on. Family, friends, sponsor brothers, college friends...man, I've got cheap lodgings everywhere.....

5.) Stand up for a cause you care about
"Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue when you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty darn important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you'll be cultivating is very attractive."

Big heartedness? Good word usage, but I'm passionate about things that only seem to be turnoffs. Rugby, Historic Property conservation, the great outdoors, good beer. yep, pretty nerdy stuff right there. I'm also all for inclusion and used to help with special olympics and love quad-rugby. But I've never met prince charming at any of these things. Quite the opposite. If i get the "what did you do this last weekend" and tell them I went on a trails day or a rugby match they're like "whoa, that's weird. You're a nerd!" Maybe it's because I pour too much passion into those arenas and I don't have any room (or energy) to devote to being passionate about anythign else.

6.)Have a real adventure
"Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a high by doing something just for you, just for the experience -- without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you'll have telling your next date about your daring experience."

Daring experience? Hmm...I've been white water rafting...I like that...and ocean kayaking and tall-shipping. I loved my tall ship experience.
Oh, and canoeing. So I like water. I'm a piesces, it's allowed. But I get that "you did what?" look a lot and people think I'm weird. Or older than I am. They can't believe I did most of that stuff before I came to college. I've done some of it while in college. Most people my age (at least in this neck of the woods) seem to think an adventure/ daring experience is downing a whole bottle of Jack by themselves or doing a 30 second keg stand. Sorry, this adrenaline junky needs more than alcohol induced vomiting to consider an experience worthwhile and memorable.

7.) Learn how to take care of yourself
"Being solo shouldn't keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it's mac and cheese with your own three-cheese spin.) While you're at it, learn how to back up your computer hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You'll feel strong and self-sufficient -- and you'll be well armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship."

I think I got the short end of the stick on this one. I think my parents did the whole "throw her in and watch her swim on her own." They're lucky I'm a floater and am pretty good at doing things on my own. I can sew buttons and seams and patches. I learned to do it by hand because my mom's sewing machine is possessed by satan. I learned to cook by me for me over the past two summers. I'm not sure It's very creative; chef Ramsay would probably call me a twit. But you know, for a person with an uncreative palate I think it's pretty good. The computer still confuses the hell out of me, but I'll get there eventually.

8.)Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it
"Once you're in a relationship, you'll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items -- not just "Will he or she hate it?" but "Is this where I want to be putting my money if we're saving for a wedding?" The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it's an expensive vintage movie poster or a macked-out mountain bike."

Well, I got the mountain bike before I came to college. I think my biggest guilt purchases involve Chuck Taylor's.



Weird for a tom boy to be addicted to shoes, but I love my chucks. I think the other guilt purchases involve trips. back to that number one of travelling alone. I'm also trying to save a lot of money knowing that my job is going to be hit or miss across the next few years because I want to work seasonally. That and student loans are going to kick my ass....


9.) Develop a hobby
"Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you're dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you -- and makes you more interesting to others."

I have hobbies. I learned counted cross stich. I tried to crochet. I play rugby. Damn that one keeps popping up. And then there's blogging. Oh yeah, and photography. I love my photography.....:-D

10.) Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months

"Hop-scotching from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you're never more ripe for self-reflection than when you're on your own -- and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who's right for the real you."

Are you fucking kidding me? I've been single for 22 years and 11 months. I think I'm over due for a relationship. I've self reflected until I'm blue in the face. The real me? I've re-evaluated myself so many times and been psycho-babbled by involved friends that "Mr. Right" is an impossibility. How many times have I heard "you'll always be alone"? They're helpful. Ugh. This is definately one I don't agree with.

I realized the other night that I've been here for five years and never once was I asked to President's ball. I'll never get dolled up and have someone be completely wowed. I even brought my dresses back in the hopes I might have occasion to wear them. No such luck. It'll be another year of boycotting the ball, and VD (see February blogs of the past for my opinions on that) and getting liquored up. Woo hoo richmond bars! Maybe not so much. Some day my prince will come.

See, I really do have a teensy tiny romantic bone in my body. Bite me bitches.

Maybe not so much. One of the guys found out I'm a sex camel (I might get it once a year and I don't get it again for another 16 months) and now has a mission to hook me up with someone at a rugby tournament. To say I'm terrified is an understatement. I might have to wear camoglauge and disappear into the darkness at Nash Bash.

"Amy Spencer writes about relationships and other topics for Glamour, Maxim, Real Simple and Cosmopolitan magazines. She personally swears by all of the above -- though she admits to being a little too chummy with No. 8 on the list."

This list is courtesy of the above mentioned Amy Spencer and found at http://personals.aol.com/black-dating/_a/10-things-all-singles-must-do/20070711134409990001