I'm so hosed......

So, going into total meltdown one day at work, I decided to give my overly tired brain a rest and peruse the news.

I like weird news. I don't know why. I think it's because it can either crack me up or make me doubt humanity's future.

Regardless, this is the story that caught my eye....

Ex-schools trustee gets probation in ketchup theft
AP
posted: 1 DAY 8 HOURS AGO

SANTA ANA, Calif. -A former school board trustee from Southern California has been sentenced to two years of informal probation for stealing a bottle of ketchup from a college dining area.
Orange County Superior Court Judge Jacki Brown on Tuesday also ordered Steve Rocco to pay about $200 in fines and stay 100 yards away from the college.
Rocco was convicted by a jury last month of misdemeanor petty theft for stealing a 14-ounce bottle of ketchup from a Chapman University dining area.
The eccentric former Orange Unified School District trustee known for espousing conspiracy theories claims authorities planted the ketchup near his bicycle to make it look like a theft when he was recycling the bottle.
He says he will appeal.



If this guy gets a $200 fine and a restraining order from the cafeteria for taking a bottle of ketchup, I'm probably going to end up in jail for life for all the crap I've stolen (some of it eventually returend) from the Powell cafeteria.

I can't begin to list the number of things taken from Powell over the course of five years there. But, you know I'm going to try anyway.

I mean, of course the cookies and brownies....apples, oranges and bananas. Definately ketchup and mustard. Oh...salt and pepper shakers. I had quite a few of those. What about the silverwear and glasses? Plates? Shoot....how many full dinner sets walked from Powell becaues the rugby team wanted the rookies to take them?

Everyone used to take the napkin holders. Especially when they had the penis ones, but the big bulky plastic ones got ripped off alot too. Oh, and what about that time Kim stole stew fixings? Whole bags of carrots, celery and potatoes?

Yeah...I think I'm WAY beyond help. I think everyone at EKU is way beyond help. And, barring that, I'm pretty sure Powell Cafeteria turns people into complete cleptos.

But I also think that this school has WAY over reacted. Arresting a guy for taking a ketchup bottle from the cafeteria? please. If you don't have better things to do with your time, the police's time, and the university legal fees, you need to fire whoever is in charge of the checkbook and hire me.

But only if I get to steal pens...... :-D