President's Ball 2006 or How to get four ruggers ready to go out into public!

Well. It's done. President's Ball 2006 is over. However, 24 hours ago it was only just beginning. This is the tale of four rugby players getting ready for a formal evening. Let us begin our tale now.

Once upon a time there were two rugby players who had a passing interest in attending the big ball on campus. One had been before...the other had come up with lame-o excuses for the past three years NOT to go. She still didn't much want to go this year, but feels pressured into it because it's her last year on campus. The theme for the ball was 'royalty' and how or why they come up with these themes is beyond me. Well, the two girls, despite well intended efforts by one to get a date for the big shindig and an online application by the other, they were resigned to the inevitable fact that they would be going stag to President's Ball (Awwww.).

However, why go when it'd just be the two of you when you can make it a large group? And what better group than the girls from the rugby team? Well, needless to say the rugby team WAS NOT interested in attending except for two girls. Only two of fifteen accepted our invite to the President's Ball and so we merrily made plans for the big night.

Now this is a great social experiment. We actually ended up with two wingers and two packies. We'll go through the night as best we can and show you how it is that four rugby players get gussied up for a night in public.









Meet Emillee 'Jello' Curry. She's a winger from Richmond. She's called 'jello' because of her love and addiction to Jello Shots. We love Jello dearly.








Devan 'Saint' Icsman. Trust me this is the absolute worst picture I've ever taken of her. She's adorable and perky to boot. She played rugby in highschool and is a wonderful eightman/lock for our team.










Alison 'Ali' Whelan. She's the only one that's been to this shindig before and is our resident 'President's Ball expert'. SHe's the one that tried to secure a date, but ended up having it fall through to a prior engagement (i.e. work). Ali is also a winger.








And then there was me. I didn't really WANT to go to this stupid thing, I just wanted to say 'been there, done that' and apparently in order to say 'been there, done that' you actually have to go and do. I am a packie. I do not get dressed up. I do not want to play nice.

And yes, I found the absolutely worst pictures I could possibly post of any of us.

So Devan thinks we should all get together to do our hair and make up. Ali has to work until four-ish so we decide to get together at four thirty to get ready.

At four thirty I am just barely preparing to jump into the shower. I had to go tweeze a friends eyebrows cuz I'm just so damn cool like that.

So at five the girls come over. Jello already has her hair and make up done. I'm running around in my couch sack (love it!) and Ali has her hair wrapped in a towel still. Devan is MIA. Devan finally calls to say 'she's here' but she's not. For some unknown she thought we lived in Burnam Hall, we had only told her 2.6 million times to meet at Clay. What a dip.

So we finally get Devan under control and Ali starts curling her hair. This will end up being a ninety minute process.

This is Ali failing at curling her hair. She totally frizzed the first curl out.

Devan walks into the room and announces to anyone who would care to hear that she is going to 'sew her boobs' into her gown. WHich means she's got padding she's going to use to emphasize her bust.

By the way, we are watching thirteen ghosts. Perfect movie to prepare to be beautiful to.

Devan finishes sewing one 'boob' into her dress and we get her to put it on so we can see if it looks right.
We will have to tell Devan for the rest of the evening that it is not an acceptable practice for one to grope and hitch herself back into the dress. These two positions will be Devan's favorite the rest of the evening.

I sew Devan's other boob into the dress for her because I don't stop every thirty two seconds to stare mindlessly at Thirteen Ghosts. I aslo re-attach the lining of her dress to the bodice lining because it was coming unattached, rolling up and making an unforgiveable line. I am so cool I make myself sick sometimes. Anyway so I am seamstress Nee Nee for all of fifteen minutes.

Ali is still curling her hair.


We are wondering if we'll ever make it to the ball.

I am feeling a bit like Cinderella's Ugly stepsister. I am still in my couch sack and still haven't done much to get ready as far as make up is concerned. I dont' care either...I know I can get ready in thirty two seconds flat....if someone finishes in time to help me lace my corset up.

I'll have you know that Devan is a Mary Kay Consultant. a Mary Kay consultant who can't successfully put on Mascara....

We are rugby players. We play a game every year in dresses against Western.

The whole point of these games is to run around with our sports bras hanging out.


Jello thought it was going to be a repeat performance. That's Ali, still curling her hair, and yet trying to screw up the pic.

I finally start to get myself ready.

an unintentional classic pose with me flipping the bird. Classic. And yes, I know how to do my own make up and wear eye liner.
Still Curling.

So Jello is in fact ready. Devan is still fussing over HER hair and I am now starting to get dressed. This is a two man job as I have decided to wear my corset.














I make Jello help me because she is the only other person in the room completly ready. SHe is terrified to pull on the strings because 'she'll fuck it up' It's impossible to fuck it up....it's like lacing up shoes. A GUY CAN DO IT! Anyway I finally get her to get some balls and lace me into the damn thing tight. I got down to an inch and a half of closure in the back. Go me!

Now, for the rest of the night, the girls will be in awe of 'my girls'. I mean, they're so used to seeing me in sports bras and oversized t-shirts that when the girls turned into ladies they were shocked I had that much to work with.

It is 8:30 (this thing was supposed to start at 8). I have consumed one beer and I am in a corset. I give everyone twenty minutes to finish getting ready.

Devan goes through twenty minutes of primping and styling and fixing and putzing and 'shimmering'(I didn't know such a thing existed). IT is almost agonizing to watch. I want another beer....but I'm thinking that wouldn't be such a good idea.

We finally get to leave. At nine o'clock we kick Devan out of the mirror and allow her no more primping. Time is up.


The ethereal white light is totally Cannan's fault. He was working the desk and took our pictures for us.

Devan has a five minute flip out when she realizes she forgot her lip gloss (she's the lip gloss queen.)

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:

DEVAN: But lip gloss is an absolute ESSENTIAL.
ME: No Devan, food and water and shelter are esentials. Lip Gloss is your addiction.
DEVAN: PLEASE! LEt me go back up and get it?
EVERYONE THERE: NO!

Let it be known that Devan went all night the evening of February 10th, 2006 without a single application of Lipgloss.

We walk to the Keene Johnson (All of 50 yards) in a slight drizzle. I am not happy to be 'running' across teh parking lots as I am in 'big girl shoes' (meaning heels) and a corset which is restricting my breathing. Go to Hell.

We check our coats (or cloaks as the case may be) and go up to the big ball.

President Glasser is on the stairs complementing people with that incredibly fake smile of hers. She says I look wonderful. I think I need to go kill something.

Devan, Jello and Ali go off to dance. THey try to confince me to dance as well, but that is a physical impossibility in my corset. Not like I dance anyway.


I am bored ten minutes after I walk in the door. I am enjoying people watching and seeing what others are wearing. Devan is talking to everyone and being just about as sociable as a little butterfly can be.

Ali and Jello are cutting a rug.
And no, I don't know why it looks like she's crying.

Kim and her boy friend show up impossibly late (realize, we got there at nine, and upstairs by ten after. Kim and Hubby didn't show up until twenty minutes after we did.)

And I'm trying to figure out why it's so damn hard for people to talk to ME. I'm up here! Hello?!!?!?!! Too many times when I'm talking to my friends, who are all shorter than me in real life and are only made shorter tonight by the fact that I am wearing inch and a half heels plus being held rigidly striaght by my corset, I notice their eyes dart from my rack to my face. This is annoying me. Too many times boys getting dragged around by happy girls take glances at my chest. This is annoying. I'm not even really hanging out there....I'm wearing a cleavage covering totally modest shirt!

Well, the evening draws to an end. I see quite a few people I know, and I'm sure some saw me. All in all everyone was in top form.

Except for Fratty who insisted on knocking it back a little too hard last night. He insisted on showing everyone that he has joints in places most normal humans don't. Let's put it htis way....the boy can shimmy.

Let me just emphasize the jolly green giant factor I was experiencing.

And so ended our evening.

Coat check tried to lose my cloak. Everyone else got their jackets, but when she brought out hte hanger that matched my tag it was some dude's face leather coat. I tell the girl "It's a full length gray woold cloak." How many full length gray wool cloaks can there be back there. five minutes later she comes back with my cloak after having walked about sixteen miles around and around a very tiny two rack coat room with three quarters of the coats being gone. People are stupid.

It's snowing as we left the ball, champaign flutes in hand as commemorative gifts of the ball. Kind of ironic considering this is a DRY CAMPUS!!! Kim and Mike got me a glass from last years ball even though I didn't go. So now I have a Champaign flute and a red wine glass....from a president who runs A DRY CAMPUS. What's it gonna be next year? Beer steins? THat would be nice....Pilsner glasses? Awesome.

So you can see that getting us ready for a ball took a lot, but it's not like putting on the fairy princess dresses changed us. Devan wanted to carry people around on her back proving her strength and do cartwheels. Ali and I wanted to do bodily damage to someone or somethign. And Jello was her completely jovial and fun loving self.

I had a good enough time to be able to say "it was fun/nice" but I'm glad this is the first and last president's ball I will attend.

Well, I'm going to go eat breakfast now. I don't have to work today because it's so nasty out. Is it a bad thing that I love working at Whitehall so much that it disappoints me that I can't work today?

Laterz Taterz!